Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
