dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
