Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
