Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
