so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
