A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize