I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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