The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
