so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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