please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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