hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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