Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
