come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
