sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Randomize
