I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
