you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I just gift wrapped bread.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize