Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
