When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I'm like, not good at living.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
