Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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