who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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