you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
