I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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