508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize