Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
