TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
