She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize