I can't breathe out the right side of my face
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
