yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
