OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
