i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
