420 ftw
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize