I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
