btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
