I wanna passion pit in your ass
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize