it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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