if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
