I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
