so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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