she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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