pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
