that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
how drunk are you?
Several
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
So here I am, sexting at work.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
