Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
