I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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