apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
