i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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