i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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