She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize