babies were throwing up all over the place
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
