Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize
