remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
