Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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