I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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