Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
