discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
