The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Randomize
