I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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