If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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