Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize