i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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