How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
