I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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