Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
