I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
i've created a new STD.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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