lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize