I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
