you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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