Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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