We're facebook friends in real life
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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