She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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