yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Randomize
