my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
