I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize