At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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