Porn is love you can see.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
