I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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