What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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