u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
You ate ashes out of my bong
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
