Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
