Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
